I was trying to write this post but was really uninspired, partly because I’m fighting off the cold from hell, partly because I felt like anyone I chose was retreading the same old ground.
SO! I decided to engage Rule 63: “Rule 63 is a rule of the internet that reads as follows: “For any given male character, there is a female version of that character.” This rule’s exceptions are only in the instance that A: the male character is already so androgynous that a female version would be basically the same, or B: the female version hasn’t been drawn yet.”
Let’s do this.
Jim Hawkins: Amanda Troya
I was really tempted to cast Maisie Williams here, because she would be AN AMAZING JIM HAWKINS WOW, but she’s getting pretty old. Maisie Williams can be a pirate. Any pirate. Anyway, I’m really not very familiar with child actors right now but Amanda Troya impressed me in Annie (2014). I think she could pull off a vulnerable, idealistic, occasionally cynical Jim Hawkins very well.
Long John Silver: Zoe Saldana
This is the most difficult/complex character to play in the story for a lot of reasons, but I think Zoe Saldana could pull it off. Plus she has the swagger and attitude to look good doing it.
Dr. Livesey: Freema Agyeman
Freema would be perfect as the idealistic, fierce, professional doctor.
Squire Trelawney: Helena Bonham Carter
I was tempted to cast her as Silver, but I think she has awesome comedic skills and would be really great as the bumbling, determined, ambitious but good-hearted Trelawney.
Billy Bones: Gwendoline Christie
I love Gwendoline Christie and I don’t like casting her as a villain but picture her as a big, drunken, terrifying ex-pirate. It would be the best.
The Captain: Natalie Dormer
Because Natalie Dormer, honestly. I’d like her to captain her ship right into my heart (I might have a lot of Treasure Planet influence here, tbh).
As you may have noticed, I’m mostly just dropping my favorite actresses into this movie – I’m just missing Emily Blunt (she’d be a good Livesey, too) and Charlize Theron (Flint flashbacks? EEEEK), who would also make excellent pirates.
If you’d like to do your own fancasting, link it up in the comments or on the #TreasuRead hashtag!